Showing posts with label emotional blackmail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotional blackmail. Show all posts

Thursday, 20 December 2012

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?


Are you really not sure if the relationship you are in is bad for you?  Do you really think you are making a mountain our of a mole hill? 



There are many tell-tale signs of toxic relationships, but I am going to mention just some of them.  

I know that when I was allowing myself to stay in a toxic relationship that my self esteem was non-existent; and one of the tell-tales that it really was as bad as I thought it might be was he told me that I was useless, nothing like as good as his mother and I would never be able to have a life of my own.

Here are a few of the tell-tale signs:


You are not allowed, or discouraged, to see any of your friends. So you turn down all invitations because it really doesn't seem worth the hassle and ear bashing that will result later on. And so you lose your friends.

When you do manage to go out with any remaining friends, your partner phones your friend to make sure you are there after about an hour and makes you feel awkward.

Your partner decides you won't wear make up because they don't like it.

You feel like you’re always treading on eggshells around them.

You find them listening to all your conversations on the phone just in case you say something they don't like.

Your partner moans and complains when things don’t go according to their plan; this can range from a child being ill to you not being dressed as they think you should be.

Your partner criticises your family whilst expecting you to love theirs.

Your partner puts you down not only at home but in front of other people when you are out together.

Your partner is really pleased with themselves when they have carried the washing basket into the kitchen - “look what I’ve done FOR YOU.”  They never do the washing though, that is your job.

You have begun to lose your sense of self and your self esteem is non-existent.



Does of any of this sound familiar? Then you are in a toxic relationship, one that is bad for you. You can choose to remain in it as it is, or you can do something to change it.  You don’t have to continue living a life where your confidence and self-esteem are routinely undermined.  

You can choose to leave the relationship, or you can choose to change it.  Either way, you will have to change something about yourself. That takes courage and begins with the first step.  Seeking help. I am the help that you need.


If you want your confidence back, speak to me. Email info@creedencetraining.co.uk and together we can rebuild your confidence so you will again become the confident, capable and amazing person you know you really are.



Maggie Currie
Creedence – The professional women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk




Sunday, 16 September 2012

The experience of divorce - my perspective

Going through divorce was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. I thought the process would never end and that I would end up with nothing.

Having spent 12 years of my life in a marriage that was not working, where I was emotionally abused, subject to emotional blackmail, controlled and miserable, I could take no more and filed for divorce.

I thought that it would be relatively straight forward. I had good reasons for divorce, I am female, I had three young children.  What on earth could go wrong?

I hadn't accounted for the actions of my husband who would not agree to a divorce, his parents, my parents etc. I was accused of lying, of sleeping around, of being unfit to be a mother. I was threatened by my brother-in-law with a fate worse than death if I carried on with my actions. My parents-in-law didn't want divorce in their family. And so on.

I spent nearly a year living in the same house as my husband, sleeping in separate rooms, living separate lives as I had nowhere to go and no money to go with. I hadn't worked for 8 years as I was bringing up the children.  I couldn't see a way out. I was miserable.

Fortunately I had a good solicitor who helped me to carry on and I persevered. In the end my husband did agree to a divorce and to 'allowing' me to have just enough money to buy a flat. So I looked for one, found it, received the money, bought it and moved in. I took the children and moved into my flat. I was free at last to live my life. The children went to see their father every other weekend. It felt so good to be free and to have my life back.



Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie