Love and live the life you love: An incredible year

Love and live the life you love: An incredible year: This year has been interesting to say the least.  It began in January with my birthday 'tour'.  I decided that instead of having a fixed bir...

An incredible year

This year has been interesting to say the least.  It began in January with my birthday 'tour'.  I decided that instead of having a fixed birthday party I would take my celebrations on tour.  I started here on the Island and then went to the mainland, to Portsmouth and then to Essex.  I met up with friends and relatives who maybe I wouldn't have seen if I had kept the party here on the Island.

I had a great time and really loved seeing all those people and enjoying celebrating with them.

February brought the birth of my newest granddaughter, Tabitha.  She, of course, decided to arrive on 29th - so only one birthday every four years for her.  I went to visit her of course when she was only a few days old, and she is beautiful. She is now 10 months old, crawling and 'chatting'.  Below is Tabitha at about 6 months.

March was uneventful, except for helping out a friend who is a florist delivering flowers for Mothers' Day. The car was full of bouquets, arrangements and choccies.  Lovely gifts.

In April I helped out at a charity fashion show.  I helped to dress the models and ensure their quick changes were just that, quick.  I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was also invited to attend the Isle of Wight WI Annual Conference as a guest of their speaker Lucy, who I had helped with her relationship.  She thanked me publicly and it felt so good to be appreciated.

May brought a visit to the theatre in London to see a play called 'Noises Off', starring Celia Imrie. A very funny play, brilliantly done.  Loved it.

In June I was given tickets to the Electric Woods at Robin Hill Country Park, an evening of music and illuminations.  Brilliant.  Two more trips to London to see Blood Brothers, a stunning musical play, and War Horse - just fabulous.  The horse was a puppet, but you didn't notice and got emotionally involved with him all the way through. I was also invited to display and sell my books at Newport Minster by a local writing group.  This was really good.

July was the beginning of the festival and event season.  I spent a wet weekend at Smallbrook Stadium in a caravan providing head massage for a wonderful group of bikers.  I also started an open coaching group at a healing studio in Newport and this was quite successful, although I don't think I will repeat it.  A trip to Scotland followed to work at Rewind Festival Scotland, providing head massage to the masses.  Again it rained, but we had a good time and met some lovely people.  I was interviewed on WC4S Radio via Skype and had a great time. I also helped out at the local talent show for under 18s.  A great day too.

August brought a wedding in Essex, we took the caravan and stayed nearby.  Then we went to see Grease the musical at the Mayflower Theatre in Southampton. Excellent. A day spent in Cowes for Cowes Week and then off to Henley for Rewind Festival Henley.  That weekend was so hot, 93 degrees, we nearly melted.  Then it was Faux Fest at the Donkey Sanctuary.  A festival of tribute bands. It rained, and rained.  I sold raffle tickets and met some of the 'stars'. Below is 'Michael Jackson'.

September was very busy with coaching and mentoring, getting my car fixed after someone kindly donated a dent whilst I was parked in a supermarket car park.  

In October I won some tickets to see Level 42 at Portsmouth Guildhall. Great concert.  Two more trips to London to see the play Jumpy starring Tamsin Greig.  Excellent.  And then to see A chorus of Disapproval with Rob Brydon, Ashley Jensen and Nigel Harman.  Very good and very funny.  Then off to Mayflower Theatre Southampton to see Sarah Millican. I also began being the resident life coach on a radio programme called "Calder's Confessions", this is all about real people's life problems and hopefully I am bringing some much needed help. October also brought the birth of my very first great granddaughter.  

November brought another trip to the Mayflower Southampton to see The Mousetrap.  A very interesting play.  Typical Agatha Christie.  Then a trip to the Nuffield Theatre Southampton to see Francesca Martinez, and lovely young comedienne.  Very funny. 

In December I was interviewed on Power Women Radio by Deb Jones via Skype.  I had a ball. I also spent two days at a local high school conducting mock interviews for the year 11s.  Great fun drawing out their good points and giving them tips on interview techniques.

All through the year I have also been coaching lots of women, creating a new online course to help professional women going through divorce or getting over the aftermath.  I have undertaken a marketing course which has turned out to be fabulous and I would recommend it to anyone.  Take a look here if you would like to find out more about this amazing course.

What will 2013 bring? I know it is going to be a year of creativity, coaching, teaching, mentoring and helping lots of people to change their lives so they can live authentically and on their own terms. That is my intention for 2013.

I know I am really looking forward to the coming year and building on the foundations started this year.  I think it is going to be fabulous.

So if you want your 2013 to be great, then coach with me and watch your life change for the better.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – The professional women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

Are you really not sure if the relationship you are in is bad for you?  Do you really think you are making a mountain our of a mole hill? 

There are many tell-tale signs of toxic relationships, but I am going to mention just some of them.  

I know that when I was allowing myself to stay in a toxic relationship that my self esteem was non-existent; and one of the tell-tales that it really was as bad as I thought it might be was he told me that I was useless, nothing like as good as his mother and I would never be able to have a life of my own.

Here are a few of the tell-tale signs:


You are not allowed, or discouraged, to see any of your friends. So you turn down all invitations because it really doesn't seem worth the hassle and ear bashing that will result later on. And so you lose your friends.

When you do manage to go out with any remaining friends, your partner phones your friend to make sure you are there after about an hour and makes you feel awkward.

Your partner decides you won't wear make up because they don't like it.

You feel like you’re always treading on eggshells around them.

You find them listening to all your conversations on the phone just in case you say something they don't like.

Your partner moans and complains when things don’t go according to their plan; this can range from a child being ill to you not being dressed as they think you should be.

Your partner criticises your family whilst expecting you to love theirs.

Your partner puts you down not only at home but in front of other people when you are out together.

Your partner is really pleased with themselves when they have carried the washing basket into the kitchen - “look what I’ve done FOR YOU.”  They never do the washing though, that is your job.

You have begun to lose your sense of self and your self esteem is non-existent.

Does of any of this sound familiar? Then you are in a toxic relationship, one that is bad for you. You can choose to remain in it as it is, or you can do something to change it.  You don’t have to continue living a life where your confidence and self-esteem are routinely undermined.  

You can choose to leave the relationship, or you can choose to change it.  Either way, you will have to change something about yourself. That takes courage and begins with the first step.  Seeking help. I am the help that you need.


If you want your confidence back, speak to me. Email info@creedencetraining.co.uk and together we can rebuild your confidence so you will again become the confident, capable and amazing person you know you really are.



Maggie Currie
Creedence – The professional women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Love and live the life you love: New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming...

Love and live the life you love: New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming...: Does this sound familiar? On the outside you are looking great, but inside you are falling to pieces. The cracks are really beginning to ...

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

Does this sound familiar?

On the outside you are looking great, but inside you are falling to pieces. The cracks are really beginning to show. 

Have you had to make a presentation to the board when you are feeling totally broken inside, and on the outside you are struggling to keep your composure?

There is no need to suffer in silence, you are not alone. I understand what you are going through. Reach out your hand, grab hold - I've got you. I will help you to transition the bold front you are putting on - the perfect appearance on the outside - and the inner turmoil where you are tearing yourself apart.

My new 6 month on line coaching course entitled: 'From Confusion to Clarity - Becoming ME again.  The successful woman’s guide to surviving divorce and beyond' is launching in January 2013.  

I will give you the tools and techniques to heal the inner you and get you back to the real you. Rebuild your confidence in yourself and end that constant ringing in your ears that you are not good enough. You most definitely are good enough.


You will learn:

• To control the direction of the change which will happen in your life.

• Success strategies and resources. And

•  You will gain tools and techniques to confidently create the new future you want and deserve.

I will teach you how to get out from that feeling of despair 

into enjoying your life and enjoying being you!

Whether you have been through or are going through divorce, we all know divorce is never easy. There are a range of emotions that could come into play (anger, regret, frustration, fear, sorrow, anguish, bitterness, hatred, depression), and there can be a sense of loss similar to that of bereavement. It is often the case that we go through the 5 stages of bereavement either during or after a divorce. The 5 stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. 

This turmoil of emotions and feelings can make you question your value as a person, and can knock your self-esteem down so far that it begins to seem impossible to come back from that horrible place. 

Often you are nagged by your inner voice saying things like "If only I had done this..." or "I should have done this ..." or "I am not lovable" or "I'll never be happy" or "I'll always be alone". That kind of self talk is very destructive and can lead to depression, guilt and a sense of having nowhere to turn.

I will teach you that there is life after divorce and it will be as happy and satisfying as you choose to make it. Yes it is a choice, how you live your life is a choice. Make the right one. 

I have been through emotional and psychological abuse, a toxic relationship, divorce, lost my confidence and hit rock bottom. Through changing how I viewed myself, training to be a Life Coach and living what I teach, I have rebuilt my confidence, turned my life around and created my own successful businesses.

I guarantee, if you implement what you learn, you will change your life on my 6 month online course 'From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again' - The successful woman’s guide to surviving divorce and beyond'.

The benefits to you include:

• You will be heard and understood. Together we will begin to change your life and improve your relationship with yourself.

• I know how you are feeling and understand exactly how to help you to get your life back, the life you deserve.

• You will rebuild your confidence so you can succeed in your life.

• You will change your mindset and begin to change your life.

• You will get renewed enthusiasm for your success as defined by YOU!

You will get webinar tutorials, workbooks, on line portal for your course work, an initial personal laser coaching call, regular personal coaching calls for Q&A and coaching.

I will be opening up registration to the course in January 2013.  Be ready to sign up and change your life.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – The professional women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Love and live the life you love: It's December!

Love and live the life you love: It's December!: Where has this year gone? It only seems a few days ago that it was the beginning of January. There have been so many changes during the la...

It's December!

Where has this year gone? It only seems a few days ago that it was the beginning of January.

There have been so many changes during the last year, some good, some not so good, but all leading me to where I am now.

I was working very closely with a small coaching company based in the USA until a few months ago, and then, quite suddenly, I wasn't.  They had decided to change the way they worked and so we parted company.  I have to say, this has been one the best things that has happened to me this year!

I have started working as a resident life coach on a radio programme networked in the UK and in various countries around the world.  This is Calder's Confessions and you can listen to one of the programmes here. It is so much fun and also very interesting to hear how many problems people have.

More recently I was interviewed by Deb Bailey on Power Women Radio and you can listen to that recording here. I really enjoyed that programme, and the time just flew by.  I was talking about my books "What you believe creates your reality" and "7 Stepping stones to rebuilding confidence in yourself".

I have commissioned a new website to be created and that is coming along nicely and will be ready by the end of December.

I am writing a 6 month online coaching programme entitled "From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again
The successful woman’s guide to surviving divorce and beyond".  This will be launched in early 2013 and I am really looking forward to working with people who I know I can help to get out of the feelings of despair and worthlessness.  I have written it specifically with professional women going through divorce, or who have been through divorce, in mind.


On the outside you are looking great, but inside you are falling to pieces. The cracks are really beginning to show. There is no need to suffer in silence, you are not alone. I understand what you are going through. Reach out your hand, grab hold - I've got you. I will help you to transition the bold front you are putting on - the perfect appearance on the outside - and the inner turmoil where you are tearing yourself apart.

I will give you the tools and techniques to heal the inner you and get you back to the real you. Rebuild you confidence in yourself and end that constant ringing in your ears that you are not good enough. You most definitely are good enough.


I have today been featured in the Lionesses Daily Roar and you can take a look at that here. They picked up on my radio interview with Deb Bailey.

There has been so much good stuff this year, like the marketing coaching course I am undertaking with Claire Mitchell.  She is just great and you can find out more about her here.

Things are really coming together now and for the first time in a long time I am feeling that I am on the right path for me and that there is so much out there for me to learn and so many people who want to work with me.

I am so looking forward to the coming months and enjoying my life and enjoying changing the lives of others.

If you would like to coach with me, get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence - The professional women's divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

Love and live the life you love: 20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce

Love and live the life you love: 20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce: Losing your confidence during or after divorce is very common.  I know how it feels, I lost my confidence when I got divorced. It wasn't ea...

20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce

Losing your confidence during or after divorce is very common.  I know how it feels, I lost my confidence when I got divorced. It wasn't easy to bounce back, but I managed it.  Had I know about Life Coaches back then, I would have been first in the queue.

Here are some tips for increasing your confidence right now:

1.  Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Model their mannerisms and behaviour. It works for them; it will work for you.

2.  Smile a lot more. That doesn't mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you're not feeling that way.

3.  Learn from the past; don't beat yourself up about it. It's gone; it's never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time.

4.  Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.

5.  Be prepared for situations. Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? If not, get to it.

6.  Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity - because you're good at it, you'll enjoy it and have more confidence.

7.  Improve your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time.

8.  Learn how to say no to people. Don't be afraid, you've got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you've said it the first time and there will be no going back.

9.  Be positive. Look on the "can do" side of things rather than the "can't do". You've accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.

10.  Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It's just a question that you've asked yourself and the thought is you're answer. If you're thinking negative thoughts, you're probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.

11.  Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really important in the grand scheme of things. A lot of the time it isn't. Many people in life major in minor things!

12.  Don't let the words of others affect you. Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It's not what they say to you that's the problem it's what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that's the problem. Change the way you think.

13.  List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word - this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying "I'm enraged about this" say, "I'm a little annoyed". Make a substitute list for the words that you use. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You'll be surprised with the results.

14.  At the end of each day make a list of your achievements and successes. Watch that list grow each week.

15.  Be grateful for what you have in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?

16.  Every morning when you're in the shower or bath, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualise all of the meetings, the people you talk to, the outcomes. Visualise success and confidence and it will happen.

17.  Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you've got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language.

18.  Emotion is created by motion. As in 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body - it makes you feel better and more confident.

19.  Learn to brag about yourself.  Yes, you heard me!  Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.

20.  And finally - You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in ten or twenty years time - will what I am worrying about really matter?

Work on some or all of those now and notice the difference.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable? If your answer is no, start coaching with me today. Get in touch today. Email me info@creedencetraining.co.uk


Maggie Currie
Creedence - The real women's divorce coach


Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

Getting our lives back after divorce

Do you remember how you felt when you were happy? Is that feeling so far away in the past that you really can't remember it? 

I can totally relate to that.  I struggled to remember a time when I was truly happy when I was going through divorce and in the couple of years afterwards.

But I was happy at one time, and I am sure you were too.

Now it is time to get your life back and be the you that you know you are and want to be again. So let's get back to the magical you.

How do you want to look? What would you be wearing?  How would you stand? What’s your  facial expression like?

Picture yourself in your mind standing in front of a long mirror so you can see the whole length of you.  What do you want to look like, wear, stand? Are you smiling? Create the you that you want to be. 

What do you need to let go of?  How do you need to move on?  What is holding you back?

What stuff do you need to let go of now that is of no use to you.  What do you need to do now for you to move on with your life. What is it that is holding you back from what you want to do and how you want to be? 

If you had all the money and time in the world, describe your ideal relationship, your ideal career,  your ideal house.  

Let your imagination run wild. What is it that you are aiming for now that you are free?

What behaviours do you need to change in order to live for today?  Slow down, stop worrying and build time into your day to enjoy your life.

There are certain to be some behaviours that need to be changed in order for you to move on with your life that you are totally responsible for yourself.  Really be honest with yourself here. Then changes those behaviours that you have identified.

Slow down not just by stopping rushing around, but slow your mind down too. Stop worrying about things that might happen, you are just attracting problems to you.  Take the time each day to just sit with yourself, have a cup of coffee and enjoy your own company.  Build this time into your day, block it out in your diary. Make time for you.

When you do all these things for yourself, you will get your life back and you will enjoy it more and because you are enjoying it more, you will attract happy people to you, because they will see how happy and content you are.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable? If your answer is no, start coaching with me. Contact me today

Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

Skype:         maggielifecoach

How to improve your life pre and post divorce

Going through divorce takes it's toll, I can attest to that! I thought the process would never end and that I would never be able to get away and live my life on my own.

I had all the doubts that come with being in an uncertain situation.  I was afraid of making mistakes, of making the wrong decisions, losing control of my emotions, trying to be civil to my ex, especially in front of the children, and I lost sight of who I was.

I found the fear of making mistakes to be so overwhelming, and I thought that those mistakes were going to affect me for evermore. That was very scary.  I found the way to stop it being so overwhelming was to get professional help.  I used the services of a solicitor I could trust.  It is important for you to surround yourself with professionals whose expertise you trust and respect – and also that you can afford. It know it will make such a difference to you.

Decision making became a chore.  I was frequently asked to make decisions.  That too was very worrying.  But what is it I was worrying about? The unknown of course.  Make sure you get all the facts; analyse those facts; make a decision – then ACT on that decision. I know then you will get unstuck and move forward.

Being in control of emotions is very important.  I found that nobody wanted to hear me talk incessantly about my ex. But I did need to talk to someone to let out all that rage and anger. I tried to limit those listeners to a few very good friends and a few family members I trusted. Be aware of who you are talking to, the checkout assistant in the supermarket really doesn’t want to know just what a horrible idiot your ex-husband is!

I know how difficult it is to remember who you are in the divorce process.  Try and make sure your priority is you.  No matter how well or badly your divorce goes, even in the very worst divorces, there will be a time for you to heal and accept. It is definitely preferable to do all you can to maintain a civil relationship with your ex.  For a time you will feel all the emotions that go with a fight. Once that fight is over, let go of the bitterness, because if you don't, it will only be you who will suffer.

I was very angry at first and it really didn't do me any good at all.  Choose not to be angry, after all being angry is a choice. There are many reasons to hold onto anger and refuse to let it go. There are some people who become addicted to anger.  Anger gives a false sense of power and strength. However, the real strength comes from having the ability to recognise the false rush anger brings and to have the power of stepping back and seeing the whole situation for what it really is.  Real power helps you to respond with clarity and compassion.

Going through divorce I was a mum, an ex wife and a huge number of other descriptions.  But where was I? I was lost, but I made the effort to find me again.  It’s vital for you to remember that you are so much more than a newly single woman or a mother. You are a strong woman, a worker, a friend, a volunteer – there are so many facets to you. You need to weave these facets into your definition of yourself.

Follow these steps and you won't become an angry ex wife who has lost her identity and spends all her days telling supermarket staff how bad her life is.  You will be in control, able to make decisions that are right for you and will avoid making mistakes.


Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

How to deal with relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety is very destructive, as you know. If you don't learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, it leads into a very devastating downward spiral:

• Suspiciousness
• Worrying about your partner not loving you, or not caring as much as you do
• Thoughts of them being unfaithful

Many more self-destructive thoughts and emotions. And of course, all of these will fuel your relationship anxiety. In order to learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, take the following steps:

Ask your partner for reassurance. When you find yourself becoming suspicious in your relationship, try to remember that it is probably being fueled by your anxiety. You may be able to get some relief from your relationship anxiety by asking your partner for occasional reassurance. They will be happy to give this if they are patient and understanding of your anxiety. This kind of support may well be very helpful to you.

Ask a trusted friend who is prepared to give you an honest answer if there might be some real reason for you to feel this way. But even when you get that real information, it may not help alleviate your relationship anxiety. You will have to work on that yourself. Perhaps your worry is that you feel that you are too “needy” in your relationship. For instance, do you need constant reassurance and want your partner to regularly prove that things are really okay? This will inevitably put pressure on you and your partner and will add to the relationship anxiety.

I got married when I was 19 years old and discovered after about six months that I had made a terrible mistake. I was under a lot of pressure from my parents to stay in the marriage as it was not 'the done thing' to separate or divorce. In their opinion, I was far too young to know what I was doing. I believed them as I knew nothing different and so tried to make the marriage work.

Inevitably the pressure of trying to make it work instead of figuring out how to get rid of anxiety in my relationship made me very unhappy and anxious indeed. I stuck at it until I couldn’t take it any longer and I made the decision to leave, take the children, and strike out on my own. That was the right decision for me, and the anxiety was lifted almost as if a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders.

If any of this is resonating with you, then you will need to find ways to cope with your anxiety and learn to rely more on yourself for feeling better – taking the pressure off your partner. This will allow you to become more self-sufficient, even in your anxiety. Give yourself permission to reassure yourself instead of turning to your partner for comfort each time you are anxious. Find ways to learn to think more positively. Try being grateful for what you have.

When you are anxious you can create all kinds of ideas in your imagination that appear so intolerable that you feel compelled to take impulsive and totally misguided actions. You will find yourself:

• Jumping to conclusions
• Making decisions that are destined to fail
• Behaving in a totally childish manner, sulking and demanding attention.

Look for solutions that will relieve your relationship anxiety and won’t result in increasing your problems further. When you are anxious your partner will be anxious too. It becomes a vicious circle and the anxiety is fed constantly.

Learning to trust your intuition is an important part of reducing your anxiety. So, slow down, think through anything you are considering doing and follow your intuition. Make the effort to stop listening to that nagging voice that is telling you something is wrong. It is very likely when you slow down and think rationally that you will find a much better solution for you and your relationship. In this way, you can successfully get rid of anxiety in your relationship.


Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

There are many, many reasons why women don’t leave an abusive relationship.  I believe that most of the reasons stem from fear.

Most of the fears are understandable, but often irrational.  For instance, fear of having no money if they leave.  Because women are generally at home looking after the children, they don’t have any income of their own.  The fear of financial ruin builds in the mind until it becomes ‘I can’t survive if I leave’. And so they stay.

Fear of what other people might think.  There is often a social stigma that labels women as failures if they dare to leave their partners.  Usually nobody outside the home realises what is going on which adds to that stigma.  This leads to feelings of insecurity. And so they stay.

Fear of what might happen to them at the hand of their partner if they did leave.  Often women believe that their partner will come after them and kill them and/or their children. The threats are made to them over and over again, until they are ingrained in their mind.  And so they stay.

Women often fear that they are the reason that they are abused.  That it is their fault. And if they were to change their ways their abusive partner would be different.  A false supposition.  And so they stay.

I know how difficult it is to leave an abusive relationship.  I was verbally and emotionally abused by my first husband. He would belittle me in front of the children and other people, always tell me that I knew nothing, that I was of no use and he would do anything to stop me succeeding at anything.  Add to that the fact that my parents believed that I should make the marriage work because I was too young, in their opinion, to know what I was doing, I was financially dependent. And so I stayed.  I stayed 12 years.

I did, eventually, find the courage to leave and take the children with me and started a new life in a different town.  The feeling of relief was immense.  Although I was threatened with all sorts of things, such as having the children removed, losing my flat etc., I discovered that the threats were empty.  And this is probably true of most abusers.  They are cowards and when someone actually stands up to them, they generally back off.

There are ways out of this horrendous situation.  There are women’s refuges who will help you so that you can get yourself out of the abusive home.  Once you are out and can think about what options there are for you, there are life coaches who can help you see yourself as you, the real person, and not a punch bag.

If I had known about life coaching back then I would have been the very first client.

There is no reason good enough to actually justify staying in an abusive relationship.



Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

Dealing with emotional abuse

I discovered that emotional abuse came from several directions.  It came from my first husband who, for years, told me that I was not clever, no use at ironing his shirts, not like his mother, not good enough to be part of his family..... and so on, and on he went.

It also came from my parents who encouraged me to stay with my first husband even though I was plainly unhappy and the marriage wasn’t working. I was told that I was far too young to know my own mind and that divorce was out of the question.

My parents-in-law agreed with my husband that I wasn’t good enough for their family and therefore I should learn how to be a good wife and do everything that I was told to do by my husband.

I dealt with this in the only way that I knew how at the time. I kept my head down, did as I was told and just plodded on through life.  I was unhappy and I couldn’t see any end to the misery that I was enduring.

I did, however, find a way out in the end. I was more and more unhappy, the marriage was just not working. My husband was diagnosed as being schizophrenic but he would not accept this.  He refused to be treated in any way and accused me of being the instigator of his supposed illness.  He was unreasonable and unpredictable and became obsessed with the idea that I was having an affair and would tell me that because I had taken five minutes longer to do the shopping than he expected I must have been meeting a man.  This was plainly ridiculous as I had three small children and the shopping to carry. I had neither the time, the energy or the inclination to do so.

This emotional abuse went on for 12 years.  In the end something clicked in my head and I couldn't take it any longer.  I plucked up the courage to leave.  I took the children and left. I sued for divorce and got enough money to buy a small flat where we could live in another town twenty miles away.  A new start, in a new town, with a new flat and no emotional abuse day after day.

I am now a much different person and I won’t tolerate emotional abuse from anyone, not from my children, my parents, friends – whoever.  My husband now of 27 years would never emotionally abuse anyone and I am so very happy now.

Looking back I do realise that I allowed this to happen to me.  At the time I didn't realise it, but now I understand. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

So to deal with emotional abuse can be difficult and it can become impossible. If it becomes impossible for you then you have to choose whether you deserve better or not – I think you do.

So what can you do to get out of this place where you are emotionally abused?

• Get some help from a qualified coach or therapist – make sure it is someone who understands what you   are experiencing and can relate to what you are telling them so you can begin your healing process.
• Look online for some blogs that refer to what you are going through. Read them, make comments on them.  Open up a dialogue to help you get some answers.
• Buy a self help book and take some action to change the way you think about yourself.
• Make the decision to not be emotionally abused any longer.

Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

Having no confidence and seeing no way out

I know how it feels to have no confidence and being unable to see a way out. 

I have been there myself. I hit rock bottom when I had the flu, all the children had chicken pox.  We were all sitting huddled and miserable in the living room, feeling sorry for ourselves.  It was cold and I had just one 50p coin left for the meter.  I thought to myself that I have to do something, and do it very soon or none of us will survive.  Life looked so bleak, I didn't have a job, I didn't have any prospects, I was struggling as a single mum with three small children, there didn't seem to be anything I could do. 

My mind was focused on what I couldn't do, or what I perceived I couldn't do.  This was a step in the right direction, recognising that I was focusing on the wrong things. 

I made a decision there and then to change just one thought.  I changed the thought of not being able to get a job to that of being able to get a job.  

I called my parents on the phone and they brought me a few more coins for the meter.  We all recovered from our illnesses and the very next week I went out whilst the children were at school and got a job.  I got the job of kitchen assistant at the school my children attended.  I cooked and served the school dinners, washed up and started to rebuild my confidence.

Getting a job meant I had money, having money meant being able to feed and clothe the children.  This of course was a huge boost to my confidence.

Read more about me on my website.

Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

The experience of divorce - my perspective

Going through divorce was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. I thought the process would never end and that I would end up with nothing.

Having spent 12 years of my life in a marriage that was not working, where I was emotionally abused, subject to emotional blackmail, controlled and miserable, I could take no more and filed for divorce.

I thought that it would be relatively straight forward. I had good reasons for divorce, I am female, I had three young children.  What on earth could go wrong?

I hadn't accounted for the actions of my husband who would not agree to a divorce, his parents, my parents etc. I was accused of lying, of sleeping around, of being unfit to be a mother. I was threatened by my brother-in-law with a fate worse than death if I carried on with my actions. My parents-in-law didn't want divorce in their family. And so on.

I spent nearly a year living in the same house as my husband, sleeping in separate rooms, living separate lives as I had nowhere to go and no money to go with. I hadn't worked for 8 years as I was bringing up the children.  I couldn't see a way out. I was miserable.

Fortunately I had a good solicitor who helped me to carry on and I persevered. In the end my husband did agree to a divorce and to 'allowing' me to have just enough money to buy a flat. So I looked for one, found it, received the money, bought it and moved in. I took the children and moved into my flat. I was free at last to live my life. The children went to see their father every other weekend. It felt so good to be free and to have my life back.

Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

Our actions do make a difference

I have been working with a client for the past 6 months and it has been amazing to watch her change and grow as a person.  

I am so pleased that she is so much more aware of her own actions and how she 'reacts' to situations. She now realises it is better to step back and view the situation from the metaphorical distance and respond from her intuition rather than allowing her ego to react.

This is the wonderful testimonial my client gave me:

"The ride has been awesome...the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that."

I learned about myself too whilst coaching, as all my clients teach me something new. It is so wonderful to be able to learn and teach and be open to learning more and more. The learning helps me to keep my ego in check and allows me to follow my intuition, and that never lets me down.

I have learned from my clients, my fellow coaches, friends etc., that when we neglect to recycle, speak up, vote or help somebody in immediate need, we deny ourselves the chance to make positive change. 

By holding on to the belief that our actions don’t make much of a difference, we tend to ignore opportunities for involvement. Alternatively, when we see ourselves as important participants in our  ever-evolving world, we feel inspired to contribute our unique perspective and gifts to a situation.

Our actions do make a difference in this world, it is up to us to make sure it is a positive difference.

Maggie Currie

Professional Life Coach and Mentor - Author

Website:             http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

                          

 Email:                  info@creedencetraining.co.uk

                           

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

People come into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes we are not sure why until they have gone. But even that is good, because we always learn something from every single person who touches our lives.

We learn a myriad of things from so many different people. Some who have such amazing stories to tell, some who have simple stories to tell.  Some people who are only now beginning their journey of self discovery, some who have travelled a long way along it's path.

Every single person has their own perspective, their own thoughts and dreams. Each and everyone of us is following our own paths to discover what is lying ahead of us.

Accept that your life does not resemble anybody else's. Everybody's life is totally unique to them. Live your life the way you want to. You can happily co-exist with lots of like minded people if you choose to.

Challenge your limiting beliefs about your life. Discover why you have those limiting beliefs. Open your mind to the possibility that you are not as limited in your life as you first thought. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that are out there, great or small. Be prepared to extend your thinking beyond what it has been, up until now. Be prepared to expand your norm.

Examine your attitudes. Decide whether they really are your attitudes, or whether they are attitudes imposed upon you by parents, guardians, siblings, teachers and so on. Once you have established which are yours and which are imposed, make the decision to alter the ones that are imposed upon you (but only if you disagree with them or they just don't sit right with you).

Make one small change in your behaviour to create a huge change in your life. It doesn't have to be anything dramatic, it could just be changing the filling in your sandwich. Start small and work up to bigger changes, but make sure the changes are the ones that you want to make. 

Attract different people to you. By changing your perceptions, your attitude and your behaviour you will begin to attract different people to you. Your circle of friends will expand and offer you even more choices. Make the choices that are right for you.

Change your attitude to yourself; believe that you are capable, that you are beautiful, that you are lovable. Learn to love and respect yourself.

Intend to create your life. Picture your life in great detail, make it bright, colourful and clear. Add as much detail as possible to the picture. See what you will look like in your new life, hear what people are saying to you and about you, feel what it will be like in your new life.  If you don't like what you are seeing or hearing, change the details in the picture until you get exactly what you want. Make it as bright as you can, see what you see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel.  Step into your picture, be part of your new life.

Life is too short to live it on somebody else's terms. Live the life you want to live and be happy.  Expect more from life and you will get it. Don't settle for anything less.


Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie