New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

Does this sound familiar?

On the outside you are looking great, but inside you are falling to pieces. The cracks are really beginning to show. 

Have you had to make a presentation to the board when you are feeling totally broken inside, and on the outside you are struggling to keep your composure?

There is no need to suffer in silence, you are not alone. I understand what you are going through. Reach out your hand, grab hold - I've got you. I will help you to transition the bold front you are putting on - the perfect appearance on the outside - and the inner turmoil where you are tearing yourself apart.

My new 6 month on line coaching course entitled: 'From Confusion to Clarity - Becoming ME again.  The successful woman’s guide to surviving divorce and beyond' is launching in January 2013.  

I will give you the tools and techniques to heal the inner you and get you back to the real you. Rebuild your confidence in yourself and end that constant ringing in your ears that you are not good enough. You most definitely are good enough.


You will learn:

• To control the direction of the change which will happen in your life.

• Success strategies and resources. And

•  You will gain tools and techniques to confidently create the new future you want and deserve.

I will teach you how to get out from that feeling of despair 

into enjoying your life and enjoying being you!

Whether you have been through or are going through divorce, we all know divorce is never easy. There are a range of emotions that could come into play (anger, regret, frustration, fear, sorrow, anguish, bitterness, hatred, depression), and there can be a sense of loss similar to that of bereavement. It is often the case that we go through the 5 stages of bereavement either during or after a divorce. The 5 stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. 

This turmoil of emotions and feelings can make you question your value as a person, and can knock your self-esteem down so far that it begins to seem impossible to come back from that horrible place. 

Often you are nagged by your inner voice saying things like "If only I had done this..." or "I should have done this ..." or "I am not lovable" or "I'll never be happy" or "I'll always be alone". That kind of self talk is very destructive and can lead to depression, guilt and a sense of having nowhere to turn.

I will teach you that there is life after divorce and it will be as happy and satisfying as you choose to make it. Yes it is a choice, how you live your life is a choice. Make the right one. 

I have been through emotional and psychological abuse, a toxic relationship, divorce, lost my confidence and hit rock bottom. Through changing how I viewed myself, training to be a Life Coach and living what I teach, I have rebuilt my confidence, turned my life around and created my own successful businesses.

I guarantee, if you implement what you learn, you will change your life on my 6 month online course 'From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again' - The successful woman’s guide to surviving divorce and beyond'.

The benefits to you include:

• You will be heard and understood. Together we will begin to change your life and improve your relationship with yourself.

• I know how you are feeling and understand exactly how to help you to get your life back, the life you deserve.

• You will rebuild your confidence so you can succeed in your life.

• You will change your mindset and begin to change your life.

• You will get renewed enthusiasm for your success as defined by YOU!

You will get webinar tutorials, workbooks, on line portal for your course work, an initial personal laser coaching call, regular personal coaching calls for Q&A and coaching.

I will be opening up registration to the course in January 2013.  Be ready to sign up and change your life.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – The professional women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

There are many, many reasons why women don’t leave an abusive relationship.  I believe that most of the reasons stem from fear.

Most of the fears are understandable, but often irrational.  For instance, fear of having no money if they leave.  Because women are generally at home looking after the children, they don’t have any income of their own.  The fear of financial ruin builds in the mind until it becomes ‘I can’t survive if I leave’. And so they stay.

Fear of what other people might think.  There is often a social stigma that labels women as failures if they dare to leave their partners.  Usually nobody outside the home realises what is going on which adds to that stigma.  This leads to feelings of insecurity. And so they stay.

Fear of what might happen to them at the hand of their partner if they did leave.  Often women believe that their partner will come after them and kill them and/or their children. The threats are made to them over and over again, until they are ingrained in their mind.  And so they stay.

Women often fear that they are the reason that they are abused.  That it is their fault. And if they were to change their ways their abusive partner would be different.  A false supposition.  And so they stay.

I know how difficult it is to leave an abusive relationship.  I was verbally and emotionally abused by my first husband. He would belittle me in front of the children and other people, always tell me that I knew nothing, that I was of no use and he would do anything to stop me succeeding at anything.  Add to that the fact that my parents believed that I should make the marriage work because I was too young, in their opinion, to know what I was doing, I was financially dependent. And so I stayed.  I stayed 12 years.

I did, eventually, find the courage to leave and take the children with me and started a new life in a different town.  The feeling of relief was immense.  Although I was threatened with all sorts of things, such as having the children removed, losing my flat etc., I discovered that the threats were empty.  And this is probably true of most abusers.  They are cowards and when someone actually stands up to them, they generally back off.

There are ways out of this horrendous situation.  There are women’s refuges who will help you so that you can get yourself out of the abusive home.  Once you are out and can think about what options there are for you, there are life coaches who can help you see yourself as you, the real person, and not a punch bag.

If I had known about life coaching back then I would have been the very first client.

There is no reason good enough to actually justify staying in an abusive relationship.



Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

Dealing with emotional abuse

I discovered that emotional abuse came from several directions.  It came from my first husband who, for years, told me that I was not clever, no use at ironing his shirts, not like his mother, not good enough to be part of his family..... and so on, and on he went.

It also came from my parents who encouraged me to stay with my first husband even though I was plainly unhappy and the marriage wasn’t working. I was told that I was far too young to know my own mind and that divorce was out of the question.

My parents-in-law agreed with my husband that I wasn’t good enough for their family and therefore I should learn how to be a good wife and do everything that I was told to do by my husband.

I dealt with this in the only way that I knew how at the time. I kept my head down, did as I was told and just plodded on through life.  I was unhappy and I couldn’t see any end to the misery that I was enduring.

I did, however, find a way out in the end. I was more and more unhappy, the marriage was just not working. My husband was diagnosed as being schizophrenic but he would not accept this.  He refused to be treated in any way and accused me of being the instigator of his supposed illness.  He was unreasonable and unpredictable and became obsessed with the idea that I was having an affair and would tell me that because I had taken five minutes longer to do the shopping than he expected I must have been meeting a man.  This was plainly ridiculous as I had three small children and the shopping to carry. I had neither the time, the energy or the inclination to do so.

This emotional abuse went on for 12 years.  In the end something clicked in my head and I couldn't take it any longer.  I plucked up the courage to leave.  I took the children and left. I sued for divorce and got enough money to buy a small flat where we could live in another town twenty miles away.  A new start, in a new town, with a new flat and no emotional abuse day after day.

I am now a much different person and I won’t tolerate emotional abuse from anyone, not from my children, my parents, friends – whoever.  My husband now of 27 years would never emotionally abuse anyone and I am so very happy now.

Looking back I do realise that I allowed this to happen to me.  At the time I didn't realise it, but now I understand. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

So to deal with emotional abuse can be difficult and it can become impossible. If it becomes impossible for you then you have to choose whether you deserve better or not – I think you do.

So what can you do to get out of this place where you are emotionally abused?

• Get some help from a qualified coach or therapist – make sure it is someone who understands what you   are experiencing and can relate to what you are telling them so you can begin your healing process.
• Look online for some blogs that refer to what you are going through. Read them, make comments on them.  Open up a dialogue to help you get some answers.
• Buy a self help book and take some action to change the way you think about yourself.
• Make the decision to not be emotionally abused any longer.

Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

Having no confidence and seeing no way out

I know how it feels to have no confidence and being unable to see a way out. 

I have been there myself. I hit rock bottom when I had the flu, all the children had chicken pox.  We were all sitting huddled and miserable in the living room, feeling sorry for ourselves.  It was cold and I had just one 50p coin left for the meter.  I thought to myself that I have to do something, and do it very soon or none of us will survive.  Life looked so bleak, I didn't have a job, I didn't have any prospects, I was struggling as a single mum with three small children, there didn't seem to be anything I could do. 

My mind was focused on what I couldn't do, or what I perceived I couldn't do.  This was a step in the right direction, recognising that I was focusing on the wrong things. 

I made a decision there and then to change just one thought.  I changed the thought of not being able to get a job to that of being able to get a job.  

I called my parents on the phone and they brought me a few more coins for the meter.  We all recovered from our illnesses and the very next week I went out whilst the children were at school and got a job.  I got the job of kitchen assistant at the school my children attended.  I cooked and served the school dinners, washed up and started to rebuild my confidence.

Getting a job meant I had money, having money meant being able to feed and clothe the children.  This of course was a huge boost to my confidence.

Read more about me on my website.

Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

Our actions do make a difference

I have been working with a client for the past 6 months and it has been amazing to watch her change and grow as a person.  

I am so pleased that she is so much more aware of her own actions and how she 'reacts' to situations. She now realises it is better to step back and view the situation from the metaphorical distance and respond from her intuition rather than allowing her ego to react.

This is the wonderful testimonial my client gave me:

"The ride has been awesome...the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that."

I learned about myself too whilst coaching, as all my clients teach me something new. It is so wonderful to be able to learn and teach and be open to learning more and more. The learning helps me to keep my ego in check and allows me to follow my intuition, and that never lets me down.

I have learned from my clients, my fellow coaches, friends etc., that when we neglect to recycle, speak up, vote or help somebody in immediate need, we deny ourselves the chance to make positive change. 

By holding on to the belief that our actions don’t make much of a difference, we tend to ignore opportunities for involvement. Alternatively, when we see ourselves as important participants in our  ever-evolving world, we feel inspired to contribute our unique perspective and gifts to a situation.

Our actions do make a difference in this world, it is up to us to make sure it is a positive difference.

Maggie Currie

Professional Life Coach and Mentor - Author

Website:             http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

                          

 Email:                  info@creedencetraining.co.uk

                           

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

People come into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes we are not sure why until they have gone. But even that is good, because we always learn something from every single person who touches our lives.

We learn a myriad of things from so many different people. Some who have such amazing stories to tell, some who have simple stories to tell.  Some people who are only now beginning their journey of self discovery, some who have travelled a long way along it's path.

Every single person has their own perspective, their own thoughts and dreams. Each and everyone of us is following our own paths to discover what is lying ahead of us.

Accept that your life does not resemble anybody else's. Everybody's life is totally unique to them. Live your life the way you want to. You can happily co-exist with lots of like minded people if you choose to.

Challenge your limiting beliefs about your life. Discover why you have those limiting beliefs. Open your mind to the possibility that you are not as limited in your life as you first thought. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that are out there, great or small. Be prepared to extend your thinking beyond what it has been, up until now. Be prepared to expand your norm.

Examine your attitudes. Decide whether they really are your attitudes, or whether they are attitudes imposed upon you by parents, guardians, siblings, teachers and so on. Once you have established which are yours and which are imposed, make the decision to alter the ones that are imposed upon you (but only if you disagree with them or they just don't sit right with you).

Make one small change in your behaviour to create a huge change in your life. It doesn't have to be anything dramatic, it could just be changing the filling in your sandwich. Start small and work up to bigger changes, but make sure the changes are the ones that you want to make. 

Attract different people to you. By changing your perceptions, your attitude and your behaviour you will begin to attract different people to you. Your circle of friends will expand and offer you even more choices. Make the choices that are right for you.

Change your attitude to yourself; believe that you are capable, that you are beautiful, that you are lovable. Learn to love and respect yourself.

Intend to create your life. Picture your life in great detail, make it bright, colourful and clear. Add as much detail as possible to the picture. See what you will look like in your new life, hear what people are saying to you and about you, feel what it will be like in your new life.  If you don't like what you are seeing or hearing, change the details in the picture until you get exactly what you want. Make it as bright as you can, see what you see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel.  Step into your picture, be part of your new life.

Life is too short to live it on somebody else's terms. Live the life you want to live and be happy.  Expect more from life and you will get it. Don't settle for anything less.


Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website:       http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email:           info@creedencetraining.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/therealwomensdivorcecoach?ref=hl

 Twitter:        https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie